What other people are looking for

Friendship is characterized by intimacy. Start small by sharing something a little bit more personal than you would normally and see how the other person responds. Do they seem interested? Do they reciprocate by disclosing something about themselves?

Big Data: Measuring and Predicting Human Behaviour

We tend to make friends with people we cross paths with regularly: people we go to school with, work with, or live close to. The more we see someone, the more likely a friendship is to develop. So look at the places you frequent as you start your search for potential friends.

Another big factor in friendship is common interests. We tend to be drawn to people who are similar, with a shared hobby, cultural background, career path, or kids the same age. Think about activities you enjoy or the causes you care about. Where can you meet people who share the same interests? When looking to meet new people, try to open yourself up to new experiences.


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Not everything you try will lead to success but you can always learn from the experience and hopefully have some fun. Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also meeting new people.

Why are friends so important?

Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills. Take a class or join a club to meet people with common interests, such as a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup. Walk a dog. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other.

28 Free Tools to Help You Find What People Search For

Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you. Behave like someone new to the area. Cheer on your team. Going to a bar alone can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports team, find out where other fans go to watch the games. You automatically have a shared interest—your team—which makes it natural to start up a conversation. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections—and you never know where it may lead!

Invite a neighbor or work colleague out for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later. Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; bringing up old times makes for an easy conversation starter.

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Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people. Track down old friends via social media sites. Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. Here are some common obstacles—and how you can overcome them. Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the time for friends. Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get-together without setting the next date.

Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with activities that you have to do anyway. These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping. Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still being productive. Group it. Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.

For more general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthy ways to handle it:. Making a new friend is just the beginning of the journey.

Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen, so you need to nurture that new connection. Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time. Be a good listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you. Give your friend space. Even if we play devil's advocate and they are thinking about you - it's probably only for a miniscule second and then they go on with their lives. Also be mindful that to constantly worry what others are thinking about you is to assume that everyone is always thinking about you.

That's not always possible, people can think about anything and everything. Whenever you feel like someone is judging you, just remember how quickly your mind reacts and processes information and how long you stay on a subject. Don't worry. It's just not worth your time to fret about things you cannot prove. Anonymous June 1st, pm. It is more than natural for people to look at you, it's often done because of curiosity or because you are in their line of sight. By understanding that people look not to judge you, but just to look at you - hopefully this will help you stop worrying.

Stop Looking For Happiness In Other People

Have confidence in yourself. Your opinion about yourself is the only one that matters, not others opinions about you. Especially people who don't even know you. The answer to the question is simple: People tend to look at us when we excel in what we do and when we take initiative to be different. Make use of this opportunity to boost the efficiency level of the work which is being done cause these times of weakness are our source of strength,and continue and enjoy what you do.

To stop worries remember the slogan "Do what you love and love what you do". Anonymous April 7th, pm. When you're out and about look around at other people. You might catch the eyes of a few of them but take it in your stride. Ask yourself why you're worried people are looking at you. Take a moment to realize that you don't look at everyone and think about how you think of complete strangers if you even bother to take note of what they're doing.


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It's nothing that bad, right? All you want to do is get on with whatever task you're trying to complete or get from point A to B with as little difficulty as possible. Whatever that person was wearing won't matter in 20 seconds time, what that other person was doing was just a background thing to your day that you won't remember by the time you go to bed that night.

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When you realize that they have similar thoughts to you and just want to get on with their day you'll start to feel more relaxed about it. I know that for me to stop worrying if people are looking at me I think what if it is all good things they are looking at me for. I try to think of the positives that makes it so that I change the fear of worry to positive.

I try to create a new mindset that being said it helps me to stop worrying. I keep things in perspective, question my thinking of being worried and tell myself stop and breathe. There is no point in worrying they could just be looking at something above me. I just try to turn the worry into a positive thought.